All the Night with a Light of Fire

In the daytime also, He led them with the cloud, and all the night with a light of fire. (Psalm 78:14)

Father God,
I thank You that Your presence never departs from Your people. Throughout the Exodus, You led the children of Israel by day with the cloud of Your presence shielding them from the hot, desert sun. And all the night, You warmed them with the fire of Your Spirit. You were ever before them in a tangible, visible way – yet still they wandered. As does my own heart, though You are never far from me.

You provided water from earth-baked rocks, rained down manna from heaven, and emptied quail from the corners of the winds, proving that You are Jehovah Jireh – the One who provides. Yet still, Your people tested You in their heart. Determined to remain discontent, although their every need was provided at Your hand, they asked for the food of their own fancy.

And I can’t help but wonder at the propensity with which I do the same thing. Why do I continue to want something other than what You have deemed is best for me?

How well I can relate to those stumbling, doubtful, desert dwellers.
Always looking for something beyond what is needed.
Hesitating to walk through passes to which You have miraculously gained me entrance.
Doubting that You will be in my tomorrows when You have never once lifted Your presence from my todays.

In spite of all that You have done for me, I still so easily forget. Forfeiting my faith in exchange for unbelief, then left wondering why my days are consumed in futility. Fear raises its head, looking to devour any vestige of hope. And I am bewildered by how quickly all has seemingly turned against me.

Until I remember.

Until I remember…
… the works You have done on my behalf.
… the wonders You have performed to protect me.
… the ever-present power of my very exceeding God.

Until I remember…
… that You are my Rock.
… that the Most High is my Redeemer.
… that You are ever-faithful to Your covenant of love with me.

Until I remember…
…that You remember I am but flesh, a breath that passes quickly.

And in my remembering, I choose to forget the pain of this moment and release my hurts into Your keeping.

I refuse to look at the circumstances looming before me as larger than the Lord who lives within. I choose to lift up my head and wait for my deliverance, though Your presence seems hidden from me. I remind myself that You are for me, never to leave me abandoned to solitude, to the choices of others, or to the trials of this life. I choose to believe that what You have promised, You will do. Whether I see Your hand at work or not.

So I cling to the Ancient of Days.

In the calm and through the storms, I will fasten upon Your mercy and declare Your faithfulness.

I will linger where I last encountered Your presence and wait for You there, even as I hide my hope in You.

And all the night, I will look for Your fire to warm this darkness.


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