There is One who steadies my heart with His unwavering promises. Who does not change. Who does not lie. Whose word is His bond – true and perfect and eternal.
Everything shifts and moves. My heart, most of all.
Seasons twirl in and out, seeming to dance faster with the passing of each year. Moments spin by, ticking off second after second.
Through it all, God stands fast, anchoring my soul and holding me close.
But let’s face it, sometimes faith doesn’t feel like faith. Sometimes it feels like nothing.
So what do we do during those times when truth doesn’t feel true?
When hope seems elusive?
When joy plays hide-and-seek, and you’re tired of searching?
It’s hard to hold on to what is real when all seems upside-down and backwards. And no matter how much I wish it weren’t so, sometimes faith doesn’t feel like it should. No goosebumps. No ethereal ecstasy. Just numbness.
But still there, nonetheless.
Overriding this feeling of nothing, faith remains. That constant companion overshadowing the smallness of doubt. Or its largeness.
Readjusting itself to remain in my line of vision, faith bumps against despair, deftly positioning to capture my attention. It persistently pursues, vying for my devotion until, step by tentative step, I answer its beckoning call.
Though my heart still lingers near the tempting allure of unbelief, I choose faith. Again.
Because I really do believe God dwells here in the tension between the reality I see and the truth I know.
God has given us the gift of His presence, and we get to take that with us. In the known and familiar, and in the unknown and the awkward. In the times of peace, and in the unsettling moments of the downright hard.
Faith beckons. Asking me to trust, inviting me to lean into the very Presence which fills the universe yet chooses to rest in the confines of me. This is the God who lavishes grace upon grace. And I am invited to join Him in each living, breathing moment. Even when it feels like gasping for air.
It is all a part of learning to love deeply. Learning to trust in this tension between the now and the not yet, between the heaven that is promised to come and the earth that is my home for this moment. For such a fleeting moment.
So I will answer the call of faith and choose to believe in its goodness.
Trusting it will remain true and sure. Even in the nothing.
“In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil…” (Hebrews 6:17-19)